if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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