whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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