She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
