bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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