On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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