I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
