So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
