I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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