I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
