i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
