forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
