what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize