if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
