the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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