the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
