He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize