This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i love accidental penises.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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