since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
