My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
only you would photoshop your dick
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
