i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
