The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
