I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
