We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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