I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize