I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize