if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Yo dont text me then not text me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
We smell like vodka and hangover
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