he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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