Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
