soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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