Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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