you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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