the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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