This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
