I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
