Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
