My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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