If that was your dad, he is hot
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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