He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
