I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize