I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
