I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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