whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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