She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
