I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize