i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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