Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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