Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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