We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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