Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
