I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
