I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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