I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
