just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
