Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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