if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
