My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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