there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
