grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
