Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
