Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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